soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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