he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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