The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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