Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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