I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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