ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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