im about as happy as oj after his trial
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
