I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize