So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
