You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize