he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
