you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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