last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
