Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
