please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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