is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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