oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
