I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
