the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize