I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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