he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
