Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
