A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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