have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
