dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
