lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Still dying that you shit outside
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
