i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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