Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
