Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize