so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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