You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
