You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
