Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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