I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
