I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
