I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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