We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
