oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
