Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
