You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
