Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
