If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
