I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
