Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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