so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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