i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
