When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
