Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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