i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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