then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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