I love black thongs
...so i touched it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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