i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
