ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
