Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
