i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
