on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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