smell my finger.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My penis needs a shock collar
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
