need another drink. this is the easiest way
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
