I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
