How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
