If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
