everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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