i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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